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Latest headlines from www.stress.about.com

From Melissa C. Stöppler, M.D , Your guide to Stress Management

Support For Stress Relief


Reader Wisdom: Reframing A Bad Day


Do You Sabotage Yourself? How?
Self sabotage is a tricky thing; there are many things both large and small that we can do to be our own worst enemy, without even realizing we're doing ourselves harm. But often, when it comes to self-sabotage, the saboteur is the last to realize what's going on. This is because sometimes we judge our mistakes so harshly that we can't face them, and we live safely in a cloud of denial, where we don't have to be aware of any mistakes we might be making. Unfortunately, this state isn't nearly as 'safe' as it feels, as we tend to repeat mistakes if we can't even see that we're making them! This type of repeat-offending can lead to stress in the 'offender' as well as in friends and family. What does it take to break out of this cycle?The following resources can help you to shed self-sabotaging thought patterns and behaviors starting now, and create a more serene, aware life for yourself. Stress and Self Sabotage:Are You Creating Additional Mental Stress For Yourself?We've all found ourselves being impatient with people or taking out frustrations on innocent bystanders, or causing unnecessary conflicts and mental stress because stress is clouding our judgment. The following are some of the most common ways that people create mental and emotional stress in their own lives. Carefully think about whether any of these self sabotage techniques apply to you, so you can make simple changes to reduce significant mental and emotional stress from your life. Share Your Self Sabotage StoriesWhen did you realize you were contributing to your own stress? What did you do? What advice do you have for others? Share your stories with this reader-generated article, or just see the stories of others who have battled this type of stress, too. How To Learn From Your MistakesIt's hard to face mistakes, but even harder to stay at peace when you find yourself making the same mistakes over and over. Here are some tips to turn life's difficult situations into your lessons, and gain wisdom from your mistakes. What Lessons Do You Learn From Mistakes?What have you learned from your own mistakes in life? What hard-won wisdom would you refuse to trade for the world? Share it with others who can learn from your experience, and see other readers' best! You can also share your thoughts in the 'comments' section below, and if you have people in your life who are unwittingly causing themselves stress, please pass this along via the 'share' button. And give yourself a wonderful day!Do You Sabotage Yourself? How? originally appeared on About.com Stress Management on Monday, March 1st, 2010 at 07:19:12.Permalink | Comment | Email this

How To REALLY Have "No Regrets"
As I've mentioned before, I like reality shows as a source of lessons in stress-relieving and stress-inducing patterns as well as for the 'guilty pleasure' they provide. We can really learn a lot from watching what works and what doesn't in people's behavior. The way they explain their successes and failures, as well as how they get along with others (or don't), can demonstrate the stress-related aspects of optimism and pessimism, conflict resolution, self talk, and other concepts. This week, I blushingly admit to watching a 'Women Tell All' episode of 'The Bachelor', where several of the women who weren't chosen as wife material were invited back to the show to review their experiences and, of course, 'tell all'. (Don't stop reading here if you're not a Bachelor fan--I promise there will be a point to this blog post that transcends mere reality show plot lines.) But what struck me was how different people handle mistakes. One woman, Michelle, was brought up on stage to watch clips of her time on the show, and comment on them. She was a 'drama queen', and there was plenty of footage of her crying, making demands, hurling insults, and basically focusing solely on her perspective and her needs, before she was actually asked (by the Bachelor) to leave the show in the middle of a group date--a big break with protocol and an even bigger statement that what this girl was doing was NOT working for her. However, when viewing the footage, her mantra seemed to be 'no regrets'. Not 'no regrets' as in, "I really messed that up, and learned a lot from it. Because it was such a growing experience, I now have no regrets," but more as in, "I did nothing wrong here, and if I had it to do over again, I would make the exact same choices, therefore I have no regrets." In contrast, another woman (Ali) who had also left the show--my original favorite--came to the stage to face a few clips of her own. In one of them, she said something unkind to the person in the house (Vienna) who annoyed most of the other girls, as well as many viewers at home. She would have been entirely supported had she stuck to her guns and said, 'no regrets' about her unkind words. In fact, because said other woman came out ahead of her in the race for the Bachelor's heart, many would have seen her as justified if she just stayed vague and mum on the topic. However, she instead asserted that she regretted saying those things, said that Vienna doesn't deserve to be 'trashed in the media', and wished her luck. Classy! So what did I take away from this experience? I couldn't help but laugh to myself about how an attempt by Michelle to keep stress at bay by failing to acknowledge mistakes ("No regrets!") can actually create more stress! Failing to take responsibility for one's mistakes creates stress in a few different ways, but perhaps most importantly, it takes away the ability to change what one is responsible to change. In other words, if Michelle can't acknowledge what mistakes she may have made on the show, she's unable to learn and grow from them, and she's destined to repeat dysfunctional behavior. Ali, on the other hand, did an excellent job of illustrating how to take responsibility, see the lesson in a situation, and then move on, without beating oneself up over it or getting caught in rumination. She did express regret for mistakes she'd made on the show, but it became evident that she brings less 'drama', less stress, to the situations she faces in life. Does this mean that everyone who sets the intention to live with "no regrets" is simply overlooking every opportunity to take responsibility for mistakes and learn from them? No, of course not. But that is a trap that people can fall into. It's a shortcut that's tempting to take. To truly live with no regrets, part of the equation is learning what you can from every situation as part of moving on, while developing the ability to appreciate your mistakes instead of beating yourself up over them. Take a minute and think about your own life. Do you tend to evaluate your setbacks and see what part of it you're responsible for? Do you make new plans incorporating this learning? Or do you lay blame primarily on others? Do you just avoid reflection altogether and figure it's pointless to spend time going over such things? Share your experiences, tips and thoughts in the comments section. And, of course, if you found this post helpful and passed it along to your (using the 'share' button), I would be appreciative as always! How To REALLY Have "No Regrets" originally appeared on About.com Stress Management on Thursday, February 25th, 2010 at 06:03:09.Permalink | Comment | Email this

Coping With The Aftermath
It always shocks and saddens me when random violence makes the news. The middle school shooting in Littleton earlier this week was was thankfully abbreviated by the quick action of a hero math teacher, but two students were shot, and that tragedy is extremely sad. In situations like these, many people are affected outside of the circle of those directly involved; people across the country are stressed and disturbed because of it. This piece on coping with tragedy explains more of why, and gives advice on how to cope.Coping With The Aftermath originally appeared on About.com Stress Management on Thursday, February 25th, 2010 at 06:02:42.Permalink | Comment | Email this

Burnout: Are You At Risk?

Health stories this week from Google news

The system could prevent medical mishaps - but potentially breach privacy - BBC News
TopNews United Kingdom (blog)The system could prevent medical mishaps - but potentially breach privacyBBC NewsThe doctors' union claims that England's medical records database is being pushed through too fast, with details sometimes being uploaded without patients' knowledge. But those behind the new system say many patients are astonished that hospital ...BMA criticises Summary Care Records on Today programmeComputingWill NPfIT Summary Care Records really save lives?ComputerWeekly.com'Opt out' fear on electronic medical record systemTimes OnlineTelegraph.co.uk -UKauthorITy.com -WalesOnlineall 60 news articles »

'No evidence' acupuncture boosts chances of IVF baby - BBC News
TopNews United Kingdom (blog)'No evidence' acupuncture boosts chances of IVF babyBBC NewsThere is no evidence acupuncture or Chinese herbal medicine increase the chance of getting pregnant through IVF, fertility experts say in new guidance. The methods are increasingly offered as a way of boosting the chances of a baby, but the British ...Acupuncture 'does not aid fertility treatment'Telegraph.co.ukHerbs do not help women conceive - British Fertility SocietyNursing Times'No evidence' that complementary therapies help fertilitystv.tvThe Press Association -Mirror.co.uk -Daily Mailall 57 news articles »

No Smoking Day? There's an app for that - The Guardian
Marie Claire.co.ukNo Smoking Day? There's an app for thatThe GuardianAre you one of the more than 2 million smokers ready to quit on No Smoking Day? Then today is your day! Don't worry, you won't be alone as there is an app for it – well, several. And this is how you can call it a day: First of all, you install the ...DH launches iPhone app to help smokers quitOnMedicaSmokers urged to kick their habitWatford ObserverSmoking bans 'should be extended'stv.tvNetdoctor -Metro -Yorkshire Evening Postall 135 news articles »

NHS preference policy 'illegal' - The Press Association
Daily MailNHS preference policy 'illegal'The Press AssociationDepartment of Health lawyers believe the Government's policy of treating the NHS as the "preferred provider" of services is illegal, a former health minister claimed. Labour's Lord Warner criticised Health Secretary Andy Burnham's decision last year to ...Elderly and terminally-ill win legal right to die at homeDaily MailShift of work to GPs 'to last a decade'PulseNew legal rights for NHS patientsBeccles and Bungay JournalMirror.co.uk -Sunderland Echo -StaffNurse.comall 27 news articles »

Princess Royal to lead care debate with politicians - Telegraph.co.uk
Telegraph.co.ukPrincess Royal to lead care debate with politiciansTelegraph.co.ukThe Princess Royal will lead a debate on care with politicians from the three main parties. The Princess, who is founder of The Princess Royal Trust for Carers, will open the Building Society to Care roundtable discussion, by talking about her ...NHS bed and staff cuts condemnedChannel 4 NewsPhil Hope: PCTs will be held to account on carers fundingCommunitycare.co.ukDevon carers critical of respite cash spendingExpress & EchoHealth Service Journal -Politics.co.uk -Guardian Seriesall 54 news articles »

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Last updated: 01 March 2010